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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Muh Achey Breaky Underwear - Miley Cyrus perv pictures pop up on the internet

Is Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus giving internet gossip junkies a new meaning for "the best of both worlds" with adult pictures? That's what the rumor mill would have us believe.

It was reported earlier this week that new pictures of Miley Cyrus in her underwear had surfaced on the web. According to the rumor mill, these new pictures are far worse than the previous "racy" pictures of the Disney Channel teen diva that had surfaced online. These new pictures have been described by some reporters as coming close to "child porn."

Other questionable pictures of Miley Cyrus that began circulating online in recent weeks featured the teenage sensation in a bikini and getting cozy with a female friend. The new pictures at the root of the underwear scandal make those earlier pictures look very Disney-like indeed.

Miley herself responded to the infamous "sleepover" pictures, insisting that they were "nothing bad." No word yet from her camp about whether she sees the alleged underwear shots as equally innocent, or whether she even admits their authenticity.

Considering the current state of Hollywood weirdness, the obvious question becomes: How can we stop this girl from becoming Britney Spears?

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I think there's still hope for Hannah Montana. Britney Spears, in my opinion, is a very unique case. (That's an understatement if I've ever made one.) Much can be explained by recent reports of a history of mental instability in the Spears family. The last star to "turn into Britney Spears" was Jamie Lynn Spears. I don't think that's a coincidence.
So maybe Miley Cyrus will follow in her family's footsteps instead of Britney's. In that case, she'll release one mediocre but sensationally well-received single and fade into obscurity.

It's always easy to blame the parents. But for some reason I find it almost impossible to blame the "Achy Breaky Heart" guy for anything. I mean come on... he's the "Achy Breaky Heart" guy.

Instead, I say the responsibility falls on the internet community, and on America's celebrity-worship culture. For every "journalist" who makes a big deal about these stories, there are a thousand random citizens scouring Google to find the racy pics. Neither party is helping Miley Cyrus or any other teenage girl by perpetuating this perversity into the American spotlight over and over again. Eventually, sickness becomes glamorous due to the sheer amount of attention devoted to it.

On one internet gossip message board called "SuperiorPics Celebrity Forum", a user started a discussion about Miley's underwear. No big surprise... except that this was in September of 2007 -- many months before the underwear rumors surfaced, and long before there were any rumors about these new pictures even existing.

Another SuperiorPics user replied, "Dunno how old you are, but Miley Cyrus is only 15."

An excellent point.

Britney Spears and the seedy underbelly of the internet aside, the question becomes more simple, more direct: is Miley Cyrus a troubled girl? Or maybe just a stone cold skank? Either one might be a fair label, if the pictures are, in fact, legitimate. But can you blame her for becoming either of those things? Seriously, look at the country she lives in... you can't blame a 15-year-old girl for trying to fit in. So maybe if you start raising your kids right -- maybe if you stop letting your 13-year-old wear hooker makeup and post cleavage shots on her MySpace profile -- maybe then racy Miley Cyrus photos will stop showing up on the internet.

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